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August 14 2017

you deserving something doesn’t mean any specific person owes it to you

fierceawakening:

neurodiversitysci:

jumpingjacktrash:

you deserve love. your crush does not owe you a date.

you deserve success. your coworkers do not owe you extra hours.

you deserve emotional support. your friends do not owe you free therapy.

what ‘you deserve this’ means is that it’s ok to want it and hope for it and try to achieve it, not that you have the authority to demand that a person provide it. it’s good to ask for it, but you have to be willing to take no for an answer.

Yes, well put. I wish all those lonely, resentful misogynist types on Reddit and 4chan understood this.

Yeah, this.

This is actually what I was trying to get at with the manipulation post.

A lot of the posts that go around saying “severely mentally ill kids don’t deserve to be lonely uwu” are actually very similar in internal logic to “no guy deserves the friend zone.”

No, no one deserves to be lonely! But it is no particular individual’s responsibility to solve this problem.

Which is why I personally think having a multiple-person support system is absolutely vital.

Because it enables you to go “Kishona is busy right now, or terribly sad herself. But I really can’t be alone right now! I know, I’ll text Dave and see if he can help.”

Just doing that has saved my ass so many times from so much misery, and also meant not heavily burdening one person.

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August 13 2017

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frannipan:

“Hey Damien!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Player Dad!

whatshermainfandom:

tennants-hair:

things about the harry potter movies that bother the fans

  • movie hermione having all of ron’s good traits
  • movie ginny showing less emotion than a brick
  • harry casting the lumos spell in privet drive
  • peeves not being in any of the movies
  • hermione’s dress in goblet of fire being pink and not blue like in the book
  • ‘’calmly’‘

i love how everyone just knows what “calmly” means

W hEN ur SPotiffy shows u a song that fits ur OC ex act lly

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yesterdaysprint:

Bismarck Tribune, North Dakota, July 6, 1883

cleo4u2:

shieldposts:

mylordshesacactus:

As a writer, you should try to give your villains plausible motivations, backstories, etc. A villain is much more interesting if they think they’re the hero of their own story.

As a DM, this is still great advice in theory but in practice you should ABSOLUTELY NEVER DO THIS because your players will discover your villains’ tragic backstory, look at their motivation and find it sound, and end up adopting the villains, going rogue from the Celestial Intervention Agency to avenge the wrongs done said villains and ensure their freedom, accidentally kidnapping the President, and plunging Gallifrey into a civil war.

This is… extremely specific

I love this post

August 12 2017

hipsterboho:

I hope something unexpectedly good happens to you this week.

August 11 2017

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rokunagi:

reblog if you would eat lunch with all might

rosifoxx:

I really cannot stress enough how important it is to surround yourself with good positive people that are always going to uplift, motivate and bring out the best in you.

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accio-shitpost:

if rowling killed your fave then clap your hands

if rowling killed your fave then clap your hands

if rowling killed your fave, and they’re lying in a grave

if rowling killed your fave then clap your hands

you-have-startled-the-witch:

yahenni:

Welding shut a hot one with the girls

this post radiates an incalculably powerful energy

Stuff kids on tumblr better relearn

eternalsunshine13:

abessinier:

1. You are responsible for your own media experience. 

2. There is such a thing as a healthy level of avoidance towards topics that make you feel unwell or even (in a real-life clinical definition of the term) trigger you - but you are the one to actively take care of what you view.

3. Avoiding does not mean policing others.

4. You have no right to tell artists to censor themselves - you may criticize what others do, you may dislike it, that’s fine - but actively asking for censorship when you could easily unfollow or block a person just makes you look incompetent in your use of the internet.

5. Do not give people on tumblr or /any/ website the responsibility for your emotional well-being. Because these people do not even know you so no, you have no right to ask them to take care of you.

One of the first things my therapist taught me: you are responsible for your own feelings.

I thought that was a load of b.s. at the time because I had a family member who was doing everything in her power to make me miserable.

So I’d spend most of my therapy sessions talking about the latest horrible thing she’d done and would sort of nod along whenever my therapist gently reminded me that I was responsible for my own feelings.

It didn’t make sense to me back then. How could I be responsible for my feelings when that family member was so clearly emotionally manipulative and terrible to me? 

Don’t get me wrong. This is not a story of how I realized I was overreacting or how I learned to get along with abusive people. The things she said and did were objectively awful. My therapist would sometimes even dissect her words and behavior for me in a way that made it clear just how terrible she was. I feel nauseated whenever I think about this time in my life.

So what changed?

She certainly didn’t. To this day, she is still the same, possibly worse. The things she says and does are just as outrageous and hurtful. She is still someone I have to see at holidays because she is family, and someone I have to interact with on a regular basis. 

She didn’t change but I did. I handle difficult situations better when they arise. I am far from perfect but I am much more assertive. I say no. I enforce boundaries. That’s all easier said than done, because people like that will attempt to trample on your boundaries whenever possible. But you have a role in this too. There is no conflict or relationship you are involved in that doesn’t include you. You are half of the equation, and other people cannot hurt you without your permission. (Of course I am talking about situations outside of ones that involve people you live with or depend upon who hurt you, or that involve a power imbalance of some kind; I’m talking about situations like the one discussed above about tumblr usage.) 

In therapy, this is called a self-care solution. Your mental health and wellbeing are of the utmost importance. All of the examples listed in the original post are great self-care solutions. Unfollowing or blocking people/blogs that are detrimental to your health? That is a self-care solution. You are creating boundaries that work best for you. Other people are not responsible for your feelings. You are. 

In case it might be helpful, I want to go a little further in talking about self-care solutions as it applied to my life outside of tumblr/the internet as a whole. I set boundaries and outlined clearly what I would do if those boundaries were crossed. A small example: If that family member raised her voice and began screaming at me over the phone, I would say goodbye and hang up. 

It’s best to communicate boundaries when you’re not in the middle of a screaming fight, otherwise you come off as reacting to their anger. So I would tell her that if she screamed at me over the phone or in person, I would hang up or leave. And when it inevitably happened, I would do exactly what I said I’d do. That’s how you set boundaries and follow through. You can’t change people but you can change their behavior toward you by not granting them the permission to mistreat you. The ultimate self-care solution is, of course, cutting someone out of your life completely when all the else fails. There were months where I had to block this family member from calling, texting, email, etc. because that was what I needed for my own mental wellbeing. And that’s okay too. 

This turned out much longer than I anticipated. I have way more feelings about this than I thought I did. Please take care of yourselves–it’s a big, big world, and no one else can do it for you but you. 

<3

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chrisriddellblog:

Neil Gaiman on Libraries and Librarians.

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derinthemadscientist:

These… are all good points

greenekangaroo:

alwaysasideways8:

dreamnectar:

ceb3rus:

mattandjones:

snorlaxatives:

who would win in a fight: an army of lush employees vs an army of bath and body works employees??? discuss

lush employees, who are more adept at guerrilla warfare and fabian tactics. bath and body works employees rely too much on pitched battle and are not equipped well enough for prolonged conflict

I disagree with some of that, I feel as though the Bath and Body Works employees are pretty well trained in the art of handling an all out attack. Their defenses are high and well coordinated. Remember, they deal with white moms on the daily, whereas I feel that Lush employees are more used to dealing with a younger generation of customers.I feel as though they’d be equally matched but in the end I feel with the advancement in technology that Lush possesses over Bath and Body Works in terms of sheer amount that they sell, ultimately Lush wins, but not without heavy casualties.

All true, but everyone is forgetting Bath and Body Works employees have extreme training dealing with the hell on Earth that is Semi Annual Sale. Have you ever seen someone come between a white woman in her 40s and Vanilla Bean Noel at 75% off? Bath and Body Works employees have and still live to tell their stories

I think terrain is an important consideration? Lush employees are better at straight melee since they’re used to fighting in close quarters, whereas B&BW employees have more experience in moving through wider terrain and using ranged attacks.

this is the kind of discourse I want on my dash

bilanzarev:

so i work at a retirement home and one of the residents heard me saying “mood” all the time and she asked what it meant and now she won’t stop saying it

another resident fell over and she was just like “mood”

August 10 2017

marvel characters who are false advertising

twinkspock:

aerachghra:

copperplatescript:

  • ant-man: he can be ANY SIZE not just ant-sized
  • cyclops: this fucker has TWO eyes not just one
  • winter soldier: he is there all year round
  • wolverine: doesn’t wear a wolverine fursuit. you’d think he was a furry but no he isn’t

good sir who the fuck told you wolverine wasn’t a furry you’ve been lied to

^^ his fursuit is o'naturel

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